Today I restarted meditation. I'm a Buddhist, but a lazy one. Meditation does wonders for me, yet I'm too undisciplined to do it every day. A few years ago, I did it pretty regularly, mainly because I had a meditation partner. His name was Kaleo (Hawaiian name, pronounced ka-LAY-o).
Every morning, while I washed up, Kaleo would wait for me in front of the Buddha shrine, next to my mediation pillow. When I sat down, I would stroke his head and say, "What a good dog! What a beautiful spirit! I'm so glad you came into my life!" And with that, Kaleo would be be so happy. He would turn his head to smile and look at me with loving eyes. Then I'd say, "OK, let's get started," and he would curl up behind me and go to sleep while I sat, counting my breath.
After he died prematurely from cancer, I stopped sitting every morning. I built a memorial to him in the garden. (See related post, July 15, 2009). It was set in front of his favorite spot. He loved freshly dug-up dirt, and since I was doing the landscaping at the time, I built a dog rest for him and our other dog Trina. Trina and Kaleo were the best of friends and, you know what? The moment the memorial was complete, Trina came and laid down in front of it for almost the whole morning. Although I did not bury him there, I could see she felt his presence.
That was in 2007. Fast forward to now. Recently, Trina has made a routine of hanging out in the garden after dinner, sometimes needing repeated calls and cajoling to get her to come back in from the dark. One day, out of frustration, I went down to get her. As I approached, she ran ahead and led me to Kaleo's memorial and looked behind it through the fence, as if looking into the distance. She was obviously seeing something I didn't.
I had always wondered if she went down every night to be with Kaleo's spirit, and now it was getting downright spooky. Still, it wasn't till the next morning when I realized that she was trying to tell me something specific, like, bringing a message from Kaleo. And the message was that Kaleo wanted to be out there, not in a box on the shelf in my room upstairs.
Of course! I thought to myself. I was clinging to a false memory of Kaleo that was essentially a selfish act. It was time to let go and set Kaleo's spirit free, to let him go on his natural journey. I knew what I had to do.
I buried Kaleo's ashes directly in the ground, mixed with the soil that he so loved. I covered it with more soil and planted lilies, baby's tears, blue grass and cylamen. Yesterday morning, I burned some incense to send him off and sat for a while to soak in his presence. And today, I resumed daily meditation, except now it takes place in the garden, in full presence of Kaleo's spirit.
Yeah - spirits, animal communication - I can feel it, and if I feel it, it must be true.
No comments:
Post a Comment